What If?
by Dragon Pearl1
Summary: Everything was fine with the Shichinintai, until Jakotsu asked Bankotsu the question of What do you think would happen if we had a child?


A/N: Don't ask...­ Just...­ don't ask...

Disclaimer: Ummm...­ no... I don't think I own it...

Speaking guild:

"Blah"=speaking

'Blah'=thinking

Blah=what's happening

**What if?**

"Oy! Aniki!" came Jakotsu's cheerful shout.

"Hun?" Bankotsu looked up from the sake he was drinking. "Oh, ohayo Jakotsu-kun."

"Aniki, I've been thinking¡­ what do you think would happen if we had a child?" asked Jakotsu as he sat down beside Bankotsu.

Siiiiiiiiiiiiilence

Then:

"WHAT THE _HECK_!?!?!?" Bankotsu spluttered chocking on his sake.

"Eh? What wrong with you Bankotsu-no-ooaniki?" Jakotsu asked puzzled, while hitting Bankotsu's back.

"Umm... Jakotsu, you DO know that we're both GUYS?!"

"Of course I know that aniki!" scoffed Jakotsu.

"...­ And that I like girls?"

"Hey!" pouted Jakotsu. "No need to rub it in for me! And why would you like girls in the first place? I find boys MUCH cuter, I mean the way the scream when I tear off their limbs and..."

"Umm... right..." Jakotsu was a good friend and all that, but sometimes, he really scared Bankotsu.

"So, you didn't answer my question, what would happen if we had a child?"

"... ­Jakotsu? Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Never better!" Jakotsu chirped.

"No offense Jakotsu, but I'm not exactly ready to do _that _with you yet... actually, scratch that, I don't think I'll be ready to do that with you ever!"

"I know, I know." answered Jakotsu rolling his eyes. "I'm just wondering what _would_ happen."

"Thank Kami-sama, you really had me really worried there for a moment..."

"So, what do you think would happen?" asked Jakotsu leaning over.

"Err... you would be the mother, while I was the father?" answered Bankotsu making a half-hearted attempt.

"I'm _not _being the mother! Why do people think that I'm feminine? I'm not! I mean, sure I wear a yukata, and I wear makeup, but I'm NOT feminine!"

"Iie, iie,­ of course not..." said Bankotsu nervously. Jakotsu in one of his ranting moods is just as scary as Naraku wearing a pink yukata.

"What do you think our child would be like?"

"Like you...­?"

"You're making fun of me liking men aren't you?" pouted Jakotsu making a puppy dog face.

"Ummm...­ no? But seriously, why does it have to be _our _child? Why not that Inu-baka's?"

"Because you're easier to fluster!"

"... That does not make me feel any better about this situation."

"Mou, ooaniki, you're no fun." Jakotsu pouted again.

"Do I HAVE to do this?" pleaded Bankotsu.

"HAI!!!!" answered Jakotsu grinning.

"Kuso,­ I was afraid you'd say that..."

"So, ooaniki, what gender do you think our child should be?"

"How about a girl?"

"IIE!!!! IIE, IIE, IIE!!!!" screeched Jakotsu. "NO FRIKIN' WAY IS OUR CHILD GOING TO BE FILTH!!!!!!"

"Calm down!" Bankotsu said alarmed. "You don't have to take it so seriously you know."

"But I don't want our child to be filth!!!!"

"Please? Besides, you now how happy women makes Mukotsu, and that Suikotsu has a weakness for children, especially girls, because it was a girl that died that made him unstable in the first place."

"Fine. Only for you ooaniki. If you DARE tell anyone that I gave in to having a girl, I'll make you my next victim..." and with that, Jakotsu's face took on the dark sadist look that he always wore when he was fighting one of his 'crushes'.

"Ummm... don't worry... I won't tell anyone...." 'I mean I DO want to live..." Bankotsu quietly added.

"But she better like men, that's all I'm saying!"

"Of course she'll like men Jakotsu-kun..."

"Good! Now what do you think we should name it...?"

==

Renkotsu was walking towards Bankotsu. He had gotten a message from one of Naraku's wasps that they are to attack Inuyasha-tachi again. 'You think he'll give us a break and let us enjoy the time we are alive' Renkotsu thought rolling his eyes. 'And why am _I_ the messenger? To that brat? No one appreciates me...' He walked over to where Bankotsu was sitting, and found him in a conversation with Jakotsu 'Freak,' Renkotsu silently added. "Ooaniki, we had another message from Naraku, and-" He broke off seeing as Bankotsu wasn't even listening. "OOANIKI!"

"Hun?" Bankotsu blinked at Renkotsu. "Oh, hi Renkotsu! When did you get here?"

"I was here the entire time..." Renkotsu replied obviously annoyed. 'Idiot' Renkotsu thought.

"Ehehehe... didn't notice you... sorry 'bout that..."

"May I request to know what ooaniki was talking about?"

"Oh, Bankotsu and I were just thinking about what to name our child." Jakotsu interjected.

"Y-your _child_?!" Renkotsu spluttered.

"Yep! We decided that we wanted a girl, and- oh! I'm sorry Renkotsu-kun, what was it that you wanted to tell me again?" Bankotsu asked.

"Never mind... I'll leave you to talk in peace leader." and with that, Renkotsu walked away with only one thought going through his head:

'The Shichinin-tai is getting weirder and weirder by the second...'

==

"Okay, now that we have the name down, how do you think the rest of the Shichinin-tai will react to it?"

"Jakotsu! How many times have I told you that it's a HER not an it!"

"Demo... girls are its, and women are filth! That's how it works!" argued Jakotsu.

"Why do I even bother..." muttered Bankotsu.

"Aww... because you love me ooaniki!" Jakotsu laughed jumping on top of Bankotsu sending them both crashing on to the ground. "Itai..."

"Jakotsu!" Bankotsu yelled blushing. "Get off!"

"Mou, that's not fun at all..." Jakotsu answered lifting himself up from the ground. "Wanna hand?" he asked offering his hand to Bankotsu who was still sprawled on the ground.

"Thanks..." he muttered as he was lifted up.

"So how do you think Mukotsu will react?" asked Jakotsu when they were both sitting again.

"Try and seduce her I guess..."

"Blagh..." Jakotsu made a face at that. "Why do people like filth so much?"

"Well, they're pretty..."

"And men aren't?"

"I guess, but they smell nice..."

"And men don't?"

"Anou... if you say so... Err... girls have long shiny smooth hair..."

"And you don't?" countered Jakotsu.

"Well, err, I guess... but they look good in makeup..."

"And I don't?" said Jakotsu grinning.

"Sure you do! But they-"

"I do? Gee, ooaniki, I didn't know that you like me it _that _way..."

"Jakotsu!" Bankotsu yelled blushing like mad.

"Score!" Jakotsu cheered.

"JAKOTSU!"

"Kidding, kidding! You need to lighten up ooaniki..."

"Just- just don't _do _that anymore..."

"Awwww... fine ooaniki..."

"Thank you..."

"So what about Suikotsu?" asked Jakotsu.

"He'll be fine, he loves kids!"

"Even filth?"

"Even filth." Bankotsu answered rolling his eyes.

"Awwww... What about Ginkotsu?"

"... No comment."

"Didn't think so... Kyoukotsu?"

"As long as he doesn't try to eat her..."

"Let's hope not..." Jakotsu muttered.

"Dunno, maybe she can ride on his back or something, I haven't seen him eating children before, and so that's a good sign..."

"He better not be... Renkotsu?"

"... If she's anything like us, he won't like her..."

"Why not-" Jakotsu was interrupted by a huge explosion and a certain Hanyou's voice shouting:

"SHICHININ-TAI!!!"

"Ooaniki! It's Inuyasha-kun! Come on! Help me cut him up in to bits!" yelled Jakotsu gleefully dragging Bankotsu behind him. Bankotsu rolled his eyes in exasperation, but let himself be dragged none-the-less.

'The things I do for Jakotsu...'

Owari

Japanese guild:

Owari=the end

Shichinin-tai=Seven Men Army

Ooaniki=Big brother, added to the end of someone's name (sometimes with a "no"), means that person is the person who's speaking's big brother

Aniki=Brother

-Kun=Honorific. Usually added to the end of a boy's name. Usually used with people you are familiar to

Ohayo=Good morning

Oy="Hey!" Or something along the lines of that

Kami-sama=god

Demo=but

Anou="ummm", or "err"

Hai=Yes

Iie=No

Kuso=Means something along the lines of "Damn", or "Shit"

Mou= No idea what that means... ehehehe... Just know that Jakotsu says it a lot...

-Tachi="And them", or "the rest" so Inuyasha-tachi would be "Inuyasha and the rest", or "Inuyasha and the gang" or something along the lines of that.

Baka=idiot, or stupid

Yukata=what Jakotsu wears. Women wears that, it's kinda like a dress of sorts...

I think that's all...

A/N: All this came out of a picture you know... kinda tells you how screwed my mind is... ehehehe...


End file.
